Below are some recommendations for healthy activities to discover which will help heal the pain of grief over time.
1.) Build a Tribute. Collect one to two trinkets to honor your loved one. I have a small statue and a few other pieces that remind me of Valour which I use to arrange in new and fresh displays to keep his memory alive. They are on a bookshelf which I change plants, flowers, art and stuffed animals out to create a tribute to his memory. The process of keeping up with it is healing. A garden is a beautiful tribute and quiet place to pay respects.
2.) Find a comfort piece. I have collected jewelry, clothing, stuffed animals, knickknacks and other pieces which make me feel close to Valour. Having things around the house which remind you positively of the one you loved and snuggle with or wear with pride help to reduce the loneliness associated with grief. Be careful to not collect so many things that it is hard to part with them! The fewer the more valuable they will be to you.
3.) Pick a day of the year to celebrate. This may be an unorthodox idea, but there is merit in having a party for a loved one who has departed. The focus is to say "I love you! It's your day! This is all for you." I buy flowers, balloons and share a special meal on the anniversary of our son's death. We reconnect with him each year, keeping the bond. After the party, I donate flowers to retirement homes. The balloons I will hand out to little kids (with approval from their parents) which is a random act of kindness that makes them feel loved. This has an incredible impact on both the gifter and giftee! If this is not something to your taste, consider a beautiful memorial day in the park with a moment of silence for your loved one.
4.) Celebrate the little things. A sunny day, good news, an achievement are all worth rewarding yourself with a healthy surprise. It's important to do little things to keep your spirits high and find the good that remains in your life.
5.) Take up a mission in the name of the one you love. Become a warrior for a cause or purpose. The creation of the Valour Foundation in memory of our son has been incredibly healing and an amazing experience to connect with other mothers. Every little face that survived I see my son in, this is truly his haven. It keeps me on a straight path. Other people have started amazing missions in the name of love. If you have never heard of Brave like Gabe, I recommend you look it up! Train for a marathon, create a signet which you wear with pride for a t-shirt or tattoo, or simply do something you always wanted to do in the name of the one you love!